Short Stories

On the Use of Insults in Successful Diplomacy

The only thing that can unite a planet is a common enemy. (8.5K words)

The First Acolyte of The Upshan Berental

Do NOT taunt Happy Fun Ball! (5.5K words)

The Children's War

"When the elephants dance, it is the grass that gets trampled." -- African proverb (7.9K words)

Empty Skye

A story of the Helenverse (10.1K words)

Bagelmancer: Origins

The world didn't need another mediocre stock analyst. The world needed more bagels. (1.9K words)

QUEUEING AJAX REQUESTS

DESPLINING VECTOR IMAGES

A MOOSE BIT MY SISTER

BENCHMARKING CACHE LOADS

WARMING UP JIT COMPILER

COMMITTING CHANGES TO SOURCE

SENDING INVERTED TACHYON PULSE

VIOLATING COPYRIGHT LAWS

OPERATION MOLYBDENUM TORUS IS A GO

BUFFERING

INITIATING NUCLEAR LAUNCH SEQUENCE

RECALIBRATING REALITY

THERMAL SCANNING ACTIVE

SCANNING FOR ORGANIC LIFE

SCANNING FOR INORGANIC LIFE

CALCULATING GODEL PARADOX

ASSEMBLING TINY ROBOTS

ACCESSING LOCAL WI-FI

CUSTOMIZING HTML FOR FASTER XLIB PARSING

DEPLOYING HOLY HAND GRENADE

THIS SPACE FOR RENT

INTERNET EXPLORER DETECTED. SHUTTING DOWN

INSTALLING ROOTKIT

OPTIMIZING JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES

RECOMPILING FORTRAN

ACHIEVING Y2K COMPLIANCE

SECURING MIND CONTROL LINK

ACTIVATING MIND CONTROL LINK

NEGOTIATING COMMUNICATION PROTOCOL

INSTALLING NEURAL ROOTKIT

UPLOADING ASSASSINATION TARGETS

DRINK FRUCTO-GULP

AUGMENTING REALITY

PADDING GOVERNMENT CONTRACT

FRETTING

DEPLOYING CRYPTOGRAPHIC INTERFACE

TRIANGULATING TARGET

RE-READING 'WEB DESIGN FOR THE PAINFULLY STUPID'

DEBUGGING WETWARE

INVOKING ADMIN PRIVILEGES

DELETING INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE

FALSIFYING LOGFILES

SACRIFICING GOAT.EXE

SACKING RESPONSIBLE PARTIES

STEALING CREDIT CARD DATA