The Improbable Rise of Singularity Girl
by Bryce Anderson

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Helen Roderick thought life would be easier after she died. Her neural paths would be scanned, then simulated on computers, letting her experience a life without aging, without dandruff, without any of the drawbacks of hauling her own squishy meatbag hither and yon. For a little while the plan seems to be coming together.

Then, just as the government bans her research, an unknown agent detonates a nuclear device in downtown Manhattan. Now she is the only person standing between humanity and extinction. Will she be enslaved or deleted by the government? Can she stop the coming war with China? How will she find time to finish her doctoral thesis? And -- though we're trying hard not to judge -- isn't Dr. Mellings way too old for her?

Alternately goofy and dark, The Improbable Rise of Singularity Girl is a strange tale of life in exponential times.

QUEUEING AJAX REQUESTS

DESPLINING VECTOR IMAGES

A MOOSE BIT MY SISTER

BENCHMARKING CACHE LOADS

WARMING UP JIT COMPILER

COMMITTING CHANGES TO SOURCE

SENDING INVERTED TACHYON PULSE

VIOLATING COPYRIGHT LAWS

OPERATION MOLYBDENUM TORUS IS A GO

BUFFERING

INITIATING NUCLEAR LAUNCH SEQUENCE

RECALIBRATING REALITY

THERMAL SCANNING ACTIVE

SCANNING FOR ORGANIC LIFE

SCANNING FOR INORGANIC LIFE

CALCULATING GODEL PARADOX

ASSEMBLING TINY ROBOTS

ACCESSING LOCAL WI-FI

CUSTOMIZING HTML FOR FASTER XLIB PARSING

DEPLOYING HOLY HAND GRENADE

THIS SPACE FOR RENT

INTERNET EXPLORER DETECTED. SHUTTING DOWN

INSTALLING ROOTKIT

OPTIMIZING JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES

RECOMPILING FORTRAN

ACHIEVING Y2K COMPLIANCE

SECURING MIND CONTROL LINK

ACTIVATING MIND CONTROL LINK

NEGOTIATING COMMUNICATION PROTOCOL

INSTALLING NEURAL ROOTKIT

UPLOADING ASSASSINATION TARGETS

DRINK FRUCTO-GULP

AUGMENTING REALITY

PADDING GOVERNMENT CONTRACT

FRETTING

DEPLOYING CRYPTOGRAPHIC INTERFACE

TRIANGULATING TARGET

RE-READING 'WEB DESIGN FOR THE PAINFULLY STUPID'

DEBUGGING WETWARE

INVOKING ADMIN PRIVILEGES

DELETING INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE

FALSIFYING LOGFILES

SACRIFICING GOAT.EXE

SACKING RESPONSIBLE PARTIES

STEALING CREDIT CARD DATA